literature

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Literature Text

Fucking
fuck I am bad at this
romantic bullshit.
There are all sorts of words
scratching around inside
my skull and trying to get out.
But they cant because
whenever I do I clam up and
find it hard to breathe. You
stole the words from my
head.
every single one of them
and suddenly everything is quiet.

if you want me
to quote films like When Harry Met Sally
at you I can do that
because I can memorise
scripts – they are easy. Scripts,
I get.
And romance is always so
beautiful in the movies

but in real
life I cry whenever someone tells me
they love me and
it lurches painfully in my chest,
I imagine every confession of love is
etched into my ribcage.

Heck if
you want me to recite the tear-
stained confession from 10 Things I Hate About You
I really

could.
Coincidentally I cannot find ten things I
do hate about you so maybe
that’s a good thing.
(although when you bite your lip
at me I hate it. But not really).

Everything is beautiful in the movies and
romance always works out
and that is what is scary. I wish life
reflected the silver screen
I wish Silver Linings Playbook was really
how I felt as a
broken shamble of a person
who all-too often sat in
pink bathwater and tasted
bile and
self loathing and that last Vodka
from the night before.

But it isnt.
All I know is that I am
good at writing bad poetry and
seemingly good at making
you smile.
and your smile is gorgeous.
and i like that your whole face lights up
and I like it
when you blow smoke rings and
tell me I am ruining your reputation
(and I think you are ruining mine).

and I think
I am okay with that.
...
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